Natalia’s Diary of Surrogacy: Part 4

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Natalia's Diary of Surrogacy

It happened! It happened! I felt my daughter kick! I can’t describe how special and important that moment felt… but I’ll try.

Being an ‘intended mother’ (that’s the technical term for someone in my position), is quite a strange experience. On one hand I feel like the absolute luckiest woman in the wold – I thank my lucky stars every day that we met Kerri-ann and that she so happily agreed to carry our baby. For a long time, Ash and I didn’t think we would have a family, so the fact that Kerri-ann is helping make this happen is just amazing. On the other hand, experiencing a pregnancy and expecting a baby without actually being pregnant is somewhat bizarre and can lead to a bit of stress and some rather odd situations. Here are some examples:

  • I don’t have a bump to remind me every day that my daughter is growing and on her way to me (but don’t worry, she is in my thoughts every single second!).
  • My husband and I can’t nurture our baby. We can’t talk to her, pat my stomach, or plan weird and wonderful meals and super smoothies which I’m sure is something that we would have got right into.
  • When I go into baby shops and people ask when I am due, it is far enough along now (26 weeks) that I get very weird looks at my tummy or accusations such as “You can’t be that pregnant! Where is your bump?” and I have to explain the surrogacy which is either met with overwhelming joy or a terrible awkwardness.

Please don’t get me wrong: absolutely none of these things are complaints – not in the slightest. I think they are just examples of how surrogacy is so different from a traditional pregnancy and brings with it a whole different experience. We are extremely fortunate because Kerri-ann has been so open to spending time with us, allowing me to go to all the medical appointments and basically ensuring that we are as much a part of the pregnancy as possible. I think when it comes to surrogacy, I am as connected as you can get. Anyway, I hope that gives you a bit of insight into why it was so incredibly special when, after dinner last night, I felt my daughter kick! It was only faint, but I definitely felt two distinct kicks. I am still flying high in the sky. Not sure when you will be able to bring this mama down!

Natalia's Diary of Surrogacy

Since I last wrote I have been busy as a bee preparing for my girlie, Pandysas. Our beautiful nursery furniture arrived and hubby and I spent a Saturday putting it together and staring at it in awe. It really is beautiful (thanks Nana Padgen!). We also hung the nursery art that was the very first thing that we bought after we found out we were having a girl (I am very fussy about art and looked through 250 pages of art on etsy.com before choosing a set of 3 prints).

My mum (Granny B) took me on a couple of shopping trips for some essentials and some not so essentials – she really is very good to me. It is just so nice to go into the nursery, see the room where my daughter will sleep, open the drawer with the clothes she will wear and sit in the chair where I will feed and rock her. I still have lots of finishing touches planned that will make the room really special, but all the key elements are in place.

The colour scheme is neutral with pops of mint green and purple. There is one pink thing… a tiny tutu that is hanging on the back of her door. When she is one, if she likes she can wear it. I am very much enjoying decorating the nursery and will update you as the room evolves.

Diary of surrogacy

The other major recent occurrence is the surprise that went horribly wrong. Hubby went on another work trip and I wanted to do something lovely for him as a surprise as he is such a wonderful support to me and works so hard. We had talked about cleaning up our massive enclosed balcony so we could use it more and extend our living space. It needed hardcore scrubbing down with bleach on the floor and walls – tough stuff that I would never usually dream of attempting.

Natalia's Diary of Surrogacy

Something else we had talked about was getting a red wooden rocking chair from Ikea (see I can’t get away from that place!) so we could sit outside and rock buba. Again, building furniture is way outside my skillset. I am a creative thinker and a conceptualist. I am hopeless with my hands. But…. with nothing but the best intensions, the loving wife that I am, decided to attempt to do the cleaning and buy and build the chair solo. The result? Ash was very impressed with how clean the balcony looked and absolutely loves the chair. Unfortunately in my frenzy I damaged some ligaments in my hand and am now bound to a splint for a few months. According to my loved ones, I am also now banned from Ikea for life. Oops!

I think that’s it for now. In the next few weeks we have a lot on: another ante-natal appointment, the 28 week scan and I should get the test results that determine if I move forward with a new kind of treatment for my illness. Of course I will be doing lots more nursery decorating and lovely baby-related things. Looking forward to telling you all about it.

Be well,

Nat x

P.S  This week I had a go at making MamaBake’s Toasted Pecan Nut Butter with Coconut. I’m not sure if it is my terribly old mini food processor or just me, but it didn’t work at all and I had to alter the recipe a bit until I got something totally different but still very tasty. I am telling people it is ‘chunky style’ – haha! I am serving it for desert at a dinner party on Friday night with ice cream and poached peaches (as a quenelle if I can get it that neat).

Diary of surrogacy

Read Kerri-ann’s (the surrogate mother) story here and the other parts to Natalia’s Diary of Surrogacy: 1, 2 & 3.

More about Natalia

Natalia is writing a book for families that are having children via surrogacy. Natalia and her partner believe that it is important for children to understand the truth about their history.

The book is a story book that parents can read to children so that the idea that they were born via surrogacy is part of the fabric of their life. Natalia consulted with an expert psychologist to get the messaging right and it is now being illustrated. She is self-publishing and it will be released in early 2013.

Natalia is currently seeking supporters and sponsors for the production costs. There is a sponsorship proposal that interested parties can look at – personal or commercial -(please email:info@acrosstheverge.com ). You can also follow the book’s progress via the FaceBook page.

 

 

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