I’ve become obsessed with homemade nut butters, and having pretty much perfected my roasted almond butter with sea salt, honey and coconut oil, I wanted to try something new.
I wanted something more. Something naughtier. Something chocolate-y. Something Nutella-like that I could spread a thick layer on a biscuit (or eat straight out of the jar with a spoon as the case may be), but better for you, healthier even. Wholesome, homemade.
So I set to task. Almonds roasted, I process them to the right stage and start adding flavorings.
In goes two tablespoons of cocoa powder, a pinch of cinnamon, two tablespoons of honey, a pinch of salt and a dash of vanilla essence. Taste test. Ok, but not what I was after. Too almond-y.
Chuck in more cocoa and honey and whizz again. Better, but still not happy. How could I improve this?
Coconut! Coconut and chocolate go hand in hand. Melt some coconut oil and chuck that in. Still not what I was after.
Have a stroke of genius. Have white chocolate melts in the cupboard. Melt a handful in the microwave and whizz that in.
At this point, the flavor is ok. Not what I had imagined but good enough to satisfy any cravings. However, it is way too thick, a bit like Playdoh really.
Do a bit of googling. Find a recipe that said you can use almond milk and light canola or peanut oil to make the spread smoother. Great. Except I don’t have either of those.
Contemplate using cow’s milk but abandon the idea (because that would’ve been stupid?) Have another stroke of genius. Add water AND olive oil into the food processor.
Splush. Splush. Splush. A big, solid mass of goop rolling around the bowl, and none of the water or oil is getting incorporated. After five minutes of torturing my poor food processor, give up.
Surely this should’ve been the point where you just give up? Ahem. At this stage the ingredients have already cost me double than a family sized jar of Nutella, and it seems as though stubbornness and stinginess don’t mix well in the kitchen. I will NOT give up.
Look at the poo-like log, and decide to pour out all the liquid (please don’t clog up the sink. Pretty please?). Stash the log in a container and put it in the fridge. Surely I could add some eggs into it later on and make some cookies out of it? Or maybe…
Obviously, I would NOT go through that process again just to make cookies, but I am pretty pleased with myself that I didn’t end up wasting all those ingredients!
Have you got a baking fail story you’d like to share with us? Email it to: email@example.com
About the author: Pia Rowe.
A 30-something Mum of two girls. Originally from Finland but migrated to the warmer waters of Canberra some 10 odd years ago and somehow never ended up leaving. Used to work in the field of Communication but after having kids swapped the suits for mud and wearing various food items, and can now most often be found with at least one child dangling off her back. On the rare occasion that at least one of them sleeps, she now works from home for a local university doing research work.